The Facts of Love

Is falling in love based upon chance or is there a science to it? Research suggests that people at the same level of attractiveness are more likely to end up together. This theory, known as the Matching Hypothesis, says that people are more attracted to those that are equally socially desirable.

Science also shows that men are more attracted to women who have the same facial bone structure as their mothers. And, if you’re not currently in love, just give it four minutes and you can be head over heels. It is believed that body language and the speed and tone of the other person’s voice is more important that what he or she says. And, once you’ve got that going for you, just gazing into your lovers’ eyes will release a chemical called phenylethylamine and produce passionate feelings.

After an initial love match, what happens to a relationship is described by Dr. Robert Sternberg of Tufts University in his Triangular Theory of Love. His research shows that there are eight types of love composed of different quantities of passion, intimacy and commitment. Romantic love occurs at the beginning of a relationship and includes heavy doses of intimacy and passion with no commitment. Over time, the relationship may move into companionate love which has less passion but more intimacy and commitment. This usually occurs in older relationships where the couple remains best friends.

The best of all affection is consummate love in which passion, intimacy and commitment are all present. Sternberg says that this type of love is the hardest to maintain and recommends that couples put their words into action to keep the fires burning. In fact, expressing gratitude towards people you love causes an immediate spike in your own happiness.

So, in this month of love and Valentine’s Day, make yourself and your partner happy by practicing a few of these scientifically proven methods to fall, stay and improve your love.

Louann Buhlinger

Tulsa Lifestyle Writer

Principal – Lion’s Roar Consulting

Front Cover

An older instrument ready for restoration at the Tulsa Violin Shop.


Chris Humphrey